Sometimes as I browse through my memories, a
nostalgic phenomenon reads through my mind. It is not as often as I would like
to reminisce the past, but as and when my mind gets stimulated by the incidents
I often come across, I am taken into flashback. I stop to revisit the scenes
that I often get entangled into.
Not only in my life but also in anyone’s life, in
any one’s capacity, one would do the same. There are points of time when one
falls victim to such unfading memories that hardly anyone would stop digging
them to discover what new things have made them incomparable. Our memories are
the beads that hang mercilessly on the thread of time and as we start counting
one by one, the mystery is unfolded. It is often not with the moments that will
have been embedded in our memories, but the occurrence of coincidences that
complements those moments. For instance, when I listen to “Namgyuen gi duetse lu,gasa laya lingzhi lu,by namgay jigs,I
remember my first semester of college life, not the song itself. Such is the
beauty of life. One thing happens and we recollect another thing related to it.
In my life, there are myriad awesome memories that
have remained as my best friends. But at time, I feel suffocated to recollect
them. They just stop my breathe.However, when some stimulations click my mind,
I can’t stop digging them. How can such sweet memories be left unattended? Only
irony of life is that, we smile at those foolish memories and cry at those
lovely memories. This is only paradoxical situation I fall prey of, yet who
cares as long as they are nourishing and refreshing? I don’t mind to think further
when that past is but a compare less phenomenon with the present. Even if it is
not, I still think for I often loved delving into such challenging situation
that drinks my sentiments.
Today, right now, at this point of time, I am here;
here in the isolated place of my loved ones. I am with my friends yet I feel I
am alone. For a lonely heart as mine, a crowd of thousand is but an isolated
hamlet. The sound that ejects from the good mouth of some good people is but
the noise that I never wanted and want to listen to. What’s there inside a
lonely soul? Only a space of emptiness that rings with a boring sound each time
a hammer of isolation strikes. To define an empty soul, the criteria isn’t the
presence of tears or clubbed lips, but the repeated thoughts of his special and
near people that have drifted faraway that gives a false smile on his face.
Life itself is an irony that puts human in a false belief that as we grow old
we are near to happiness. The truth is that each passing second takes one step
near to the ultimate destination that no matter what, everone has a definite
fate to arrive at one day or the other. As Sogyel Rinpoche stated in his Book,
“Tomorrow or the next day, which will come first, no one knows”. It is true; our
life in uncertain and each passing moment takes us to the death. Who would want
to die, yet who has ever succeeded in the attempt to avoid it? No matter where
you escape in time, there is no place where the cruel death lays no hand upon
you. Sometimes even the buds fall off its pedicels and fade before it become
flower that shall wither and fall off. Nothing but memories remain that keep us
alive even if we are gone away from the world. Only Memories have such a great
miracle to enchant the thousand living to the dead.
My memories are vast and beyond the scope of this
article, yet let me filter the one that has made my life hell to survive. It is
not at the sadness of those moments that makes me laugh but the happiness of
the past that has makes that makes me cry. I don’t regret of becoming sad or
living in despair with the moments in life, rather I cry at those lives I made
in ever moment. I don’t know what tomorrow has in stored for me, but whatever
yesterday had given me was the best. I don’t even wait for a better tomorrow,
but rather want to go back to thousand yesterdays that made me lose my weight
each time my sentiments were laid down. I was fine, then.
We met like we never ever did. We stayed like we
never thought of. Yet as time went by, everything came to an end. Our life
hadn’t started yet ended so unpleasantly that never ever I would like to
recollect. May be I was wrong. We had to be away not in physical distance but
within our heart. I had to bid adieu because she never loved me. I had to block
all the ways my mind would fly towards her. Though, could not do it ethically.
My heart feels heavy at it, but I had no option. I shall not wait but travel on
my own. However, I can’t do so.
Power of Memories
Sometimes as I browse through my memories, a
nostalgic phenomenon reads through my mind. It is not as often as I would like
to reminisce the past, but as and when my mind gets stimulated by the incidents
I often come across, I am taken into flashback. I stop to revisit the scenes
that I often get entangled into.
Not only in my life but also in anyone’s life, in
any one’s capacity, one would do the same. There are points of time when one
falls victim to such unfading memories that hardly anyone would stop digging
them to discover what new things have made them incomparable. Our memories are
the beads that hang mercilessly on the thread of time and as we start counting
one by one, the mystery is unfolded. It is often not with the moments that will
have been embedded in our memories, but the occurrence of coincidences that
complements those moments. For instance, when I listen to “Namgyuen gi duetse lu,gasa laya lingzhi lu,by namgay jigs,I
remember my first semester of college life, not the song itself. Such is the
beauty of life. One thing happens and we recollect another thing related to it.
In my life, there are myriad awesome memories that
have remained as my best friends. But at time, I feel suffocated to recollect
them. They just stop my breathe.However, when some stimulations click my mind,
I can’t stop digging them. How can such sweet memories be left unattended? Only
irony of life is that, we smile at those foolish memories and cry at those
lovely memories. This is only paradoxical situation I fall prey of, yet who
cares as long as they are nourishing and refreshing? I don’t mind to think further
when that past is but a compare less phenomenon with the present. Even if it is
not, I still think for I often loved delving into such challenging situation
that drinks my sentiments.
Today, right now, at this point of time, I am here;
here in the isolated place of my loved ones. I am with my friends yet I feel I
am alone. For a lonely heart as mine, a crowd of thousand is but an isolated
hamlet. The sound that ejects from the good mouth of some good people is but
the noise that I never wanted and want to listen to. What’s there inside a
lonely soul? Only a space of emptiness that rings with a boring sound each time
a hammer of isolation strikes. To define an empty soul, the criteria isn’t the
presence of tears or clubbed lips, but the repeated thoughts of his special and
near people that have drifted faraway that gives a false smile on his face.
Life itself is an irony that puts human in a false belief that as we grow old
we are near to happiness. The truth is that each passing second takes one step
near to the ultimate destination that no matter what, everone has a definite
fate to arrive at one day or the other. As Sogyel Rinpoche stated in his Book,
“Tomorrow or the next day, which will come first, no one knows”. It is true; our
life in uncertain and each passing moment takes us to the death. Who would want
to die, yet who has ever succeeded in the attempt to avoid it? No matter where
you escape in time, there is no place where the cruel death lays no hand upon
you. Sometimes even the buds fall off its pedicels and fade before it become
flower that shall wither and fall off. Nothing but memories remain that keep us
alive even if we are gone away from the world. Only Memories have such a great
miracle to enchant the thousand living to the dead.
My memories are vast and beyond the scope of this
article, yet let me filter the one that has made my life hell to survive. It is
not at the sadness of those moments that makes me laugh but the happiness of
the past that has makes that makes me cry. I don’t regret of becoming sad or
living in despair with the moments in life, rather I cry at those lives I made
in ever moment. I don’t know what tomorrow has in stored for me, but whatever
yesterday had given me was the best. I don’t even wait for a better tomorrow,
but rather want to go back to thousand yesterdays that made me lose my weight
each time my sentiments were laid down. I was fine, then.
We met like we never ever did. We stayed like we
never thought of. Yet as time went by, everything came to an end. Our life
hadn’t started yet ended so unpleasantly that never ever I would like to
recollect. May be I was wrong. We had to be away not in physical distance but
within our heart. I had to bid adieu because she never loved me. I had to block
all the ways my mind would fly towards her. Though, could not do it ethically.
My heart feels heavy at it, but I had no option. I shall not wait but travel on
my own. However, I can’t do so.
