Effect of love

Of what virtue must i sing about love?
Of what good must i say?
Eroded soil,
Degraded forest,
Neglected home,
Broken promises,
Back to back relation
Are but the ugly sides of it.
Of what beauty then must i portray of love?
Of what charms must i scribble here?
Mourning situation,
Desperate time,
Appetite loss,
Meaning less life,
Are but the effects of love.
Of what merit must i talk?
Of what divinity must i think of?
Lonely circumstances,
Paradoxical moments,
Depressed life,
Suicidal thoughts.
Are but the gifts of love.

The Autumn

Dedication:To all the mortals to remind that our lives are like the subjects of cruel Autumn.There is no spring as vivid as for nature yet we live intact life after life.

The selfish autumn when fate gives it a life
Takes away worth of existence.
Those ornaments of nature,
Along the thickets
Along the streets
Along the high ways
Along the rivers
When the curse of nature befall on them
Like a thunder
The departure marks
The farewell of gorgeous life:
The reign of silence and
The appearance of ugliness,
Albeit for short term, songs
Of absence of the soul of nature
Rings beep deep in our ears and
Nothing but when spring
comes next,world becomes golden brimmed again.

Our life bears its duplication,
When season changes from time to time,
And devil autumn rules the world
The death with its sack
Bait the snare
To abduct the immortals
Away to the strange place.
Like the dress of nature
We shed our breathe and fade
Into nothingness and
Our presence become a history.
Unlike the spring that gives life back to the nature
There is no vivid season in mortals
Unless when prophesy reveals
Another birth of our soul
We remain nowhere.
Yet we shall live in history,
In memories
In legends
And life after life;
Unlike the nature's green
we survive in books and pages.
We survive in the virtues
we painted the summer for myriad lives.
Yet we shall never hear our own history
Nor will we narrate ours own.

Prem K. Bhattarai
B.Sc Sustainable Development
CNR

Tribute to the past lovers

Of the past:Of those role models
I shall sing.
Of those divine souls that existed until the end;
Until when fate cheated them,
Until when the envy of cruel death
Eroded them into eternity.
They loved once.
Married once,
And settled once.
They pledged few oaths
yet nurtured until the nature revolted.
They met once but loved forever.
Holy drop of water
embodied love,then.
Oh! where has time dumped it,today?
Where has today postponed it's existence?
Destiny would shy away,they say,
By the power of a pinch of vermilion;
Dead would delay the expiry of feelings
Until when breathe betrayed the body.
Wrinkles and scars spoiled but nothing;
Beauty or ugly,
Good or bad times
Arguments or agreements
were but the slaves of those hearts
For they destroyed nothing.
Charms and miracles survived
In the typical way love was accepted;
Bliss and fortunes grew as two committed souls aged.
Together they cried,laughed and pushed
Evils that attempted
and barred their ways.
Devil bowed down in their meeting
And love sang while trust danced.
Divine survived everywhere
in the home
in the field
And in the heart of the lovers.
Of that blessed era:Of that little world
I remind you.

A piece of Advice to the youths

"

Perhaps i am harsh upon you,
Perhaps i am soft.
But listen to me again for now.
Hear me and evaluate yourself,
For i may speak wrong on you.
To those that close devotees of Lord,
I might cleanse your filth of falsehood.
To those who despise him
And sleep on the lap of evil,
I might provoke you.
No sweetness,no butter-nothing yummy,
yet i hold the truth.
The truth you must spit upon
Or the truth you must lower you head for.
In those 19th and 20th centuries,
They say,truth sang from every lip
And hearts nurtured the reason:
Love begged the alms door to door,
Love and truth and bliss,
care and conviction and hopes
cling in every inhaled air.
In the market,
In the thickets,
in the house,
in the hut,
in the lips
and in the heart,
Truth and love gleamed.
Those once-seen faces,
Those parent-decided decisions
saw its real end.
There was an obvious begin
and the obvious end.
Marriage,they say,is the knot
that ties two souls forever.
How pure and sacred it used to be-
Those swears and oaths taken
when the vermilion marked the partition of a bride
remained divine and eternal.
Didn't the wind shake the strength of those oaths?
Didn't devil hatch conspiracy to undo the knot?
They lived till the end.
They embraced Lord
And end to them was when
The cruel death baited the hook.
Did you you compare yourself?
Did you see those devotees?
God is where truth exists.
Thus,if you want to see god,
Mimic those mortals
that not now will remain a mere history.

"'Prayers to the god""

'

Oh god,oh the father of the world,
Oh,the creator of the destroyers!
Where has silence crumpled you?
Where has the world barred you?
In temple,they say,you reside.
In sacred places,
In the busy markets,
In the heaven,
you exist;
But why are you absent in mortals;
In their dirty heart.
In their filthy mind
In their destructive hand?
Are you protecting those-
Those who are against the truth,
Those who wear the mask of false words,
Those who speak from the swine's shed?
Where the world has collapsed
not with the outdated pillars
but with the outdated thoughts-
Not with the absence of good people
but with the presence of filthy ones-
are you not there,dear father?
Come once.dear father,
Visit me once
and bless me with the wisdom
with which i can subdue the ignorance,
slay the falsehood,
bury the ego
fight the falsehood
and cleanse the world
with holy thoughts of truth!
Oh god,dear father,
Bless me with the the courage
and a love to fight for evils,
protect the innocents
and help them kill the false truth
that has ruled their lives

Realities and the fictions

Like in the fictitious movie,
Reality holds the duplication
That reflects the role of every character.
Like reflected in the movie
The role of those poor villagers
and the stupid goons,
our life gets entrapped into accepting the defeat without fighting.
The thousand villagers
when ruled by ten goons,
and when those innocent soul
die breathing life that devils rule,
my nerves used to get disturbed
and i would think and curse them;
what the hell coward people they are!
Oh no...reality and dreams and fictions are related
and this,i knew not then.
Films are the reflection of truth and reality,
the bitter reality,
the indigestible reality.

"Love,the fake one of today"

Today's lovers;the young generations,
Listen to me,listen to my cry-
Listen with your love,not anguish
For this, few of you might take it as an insult,
Few as an advice;few as the concern
And many more at you own wisdom.
where have you buried those old days?
Where have you abducted those sweet traditions?
Why have you murdered their existence?
Love,they say,is a song of two hearts;
Property of the down trodden souls,
Courage of the cowards
Wealth of the poor
and breathe of the breathless dwellers;
The cry of the trumpets that emerged from the true heart,
The vibrations of the drums that moved a tough heart,
The cymbals,the violins ,the flute and many more;
Why have you snatched their value?
Where have you discarded their sweetness?
Love,i heard,pure,sweet and beautiful it used to be,
why have you contaminated it?
why have you destroyed its beauty?
Like a- once- upon a time's holy
water that sang it's beauty
In the heart of river Ganga
that enchanted millions,
Love once upon a time was everyone's desire
And no mortals thought of dying without being loved.
yet today,
Those desires are fading in man.
Once upon a time they survived to love,
but today,they die for love.
For the impurities that today's generation
has added on its sacredness.
Listen:Hear me once,dear today's lovers:
Clean the filth that has inflicted many,
purify the contamination,
Spare the world from the virtue of fake love,
Bring back the sweetness,purity
and old tradition.
Lets reunite and revive the true love
and let go the fake love of today.

Is there GNH?

Where lives are at stake

But remains unobserved,

Where people cry out loud

But becomes inaudible to the should –hear ears.

Where happiness philosophy is sold out cheap

But the lives are expensive to buy,

Is there GNH?

Where the birth happens in front of our eyes,

Yet lives remain unrecognized;

Where getting identity is impossible,

And we become alien to our land

Is there GNH?

Where you become neither wild nor domestic,

And lives remain dead in wait,

Where your wait never ends

And you leave the world unrecognized;

Is there GNH?

Where census updates and registration

Remains a dream of many,

Where the fault of parents and grandparents

Are revived and penalized;

Is there GNH?

Where narrow domestic walls of ethnicity

Exists that bar the entry of one from others,

Where lips chant baza Guru

And heart holds the dragger;

Is there GNH?

Where people are sad

Yet they pretend to smile,

Where they scream with complain at heart

Yet fear to sing with lips;

Is there GNH?

A letter to my parents regarding death

Dear Parents

I don’t know what other people will think of me for whatever rubbish I write but it is a good time I informed you in advance that if suddenly a time comes for my end to begin, you shall never be mourning. Perhaps there will be no time, tomorrow, for me to inform you that I was prepared to die a long time back when I die. Perhaps next moment I would fall seriously ill and my hands might not support me to put my feelings into words to console you. Indeed who would like to die? I always have a dream to linger around you all. I always have a plan to survive in the proximity of your eyes. Every part of me wants to pay my presence in your vicinity. Yet no one is sure of the unplanned demand of the cruel fate to surrender us to the death. Any time, any moment there must come a time when we have to accept to walk the journey of death. No matter how harsh and unbearable marks are left following the aftermath of our disappearance, there is no ability in the hand of the living beings to alter the event of death. Life, they say, is a death in disguise; therefore as long as I breathe life, I shall die. Everyone must die. Law of nature doesn’t allow our eternity. My absence definitely will take you peace and bliss but believe me, if I die earlier than you all expect, think that my need to breathe as a human has come to the end. Consider that God wants me to abandon the world for a better reason. Perhaps he no more wants to me suffer. Perhaps my going is a blessing of god to take another form of life.

I always have been telling you that ,like in the devotional movies we have watched together, our role isn't permanent. I remember sometime when I have told you that like portrayed in those movies of god and goddess that each one of us is born with a prophesy laid by the almighty.(I even gave you an example of Mahisa sur being prophesied by Lord Shiva to be killed only from goddess Durga;other god, no matter how powerful they are, they are to be defeated).Same kind of script exists in reality of we mortals. No matter how fearful demon drags us, we won’t die unless we have been prophesied. If almighty wants, even if I slip and fall lightly I must die. We have been prophesied to die in our own way in the manner He wants us to. Whether falling from a tree or falling off the cliff from a car has to take our life, it is purely god’s design.

This is to let you know, my dear parents that if suddenly there comes a time when I have to leave this world without your knowledge, please be informed that I don’t like you to mourn over my death. Death shall come to everyone. Earlier or later, everyone has to leave this world. I like you to convey you the lines written by Poet Hari Krishna Baral -No one has a desire to die.

“No one has a desire to die,

Yet there is no such time we don’t die

No matter where we escape and hide,

There is no such world where mortals won’t die.

Not always are mortals wrong,

Cruel can be our fate as well.

Even do the tender buds fall off sometimes,

Hence, not always is existence easy.

No one has a desire to die

Yet there is no such time we don’t die

No matter where we escape and hide,

There is no such world where mortals won’t die”

Why doesn't life exist the same for all?

Why doesn't the wick in the same lamp kindle the same?

How unfathomable is the command of fate?

No one knows which will extinguish when!

No one has a desire to die,

Yet there is no such time we don’t die.

No matter where we escape and hide,

There is no such world where mortals won’t die”

Each day I wake up I remind myself that I have been able to live one more day. When I have an opportunity to live another day, I feel next moment could be the end. Any time can be my end. I just don’t know but there certain end. I am always prepared to die for one day or the other I must die. It is the law of nature that death must, one day, fix heavy penalty on our existence.

How I wished I lived by you forever!

Thank you

PremK.Bhattarai

Death, the great

Playing hide and seek between the death and life,

Our fate decides who is to hide and who to seek.

Concealing behind the shadow of uncertainty,

We must hide one day or the other

As much as we have been the seeker.

 As if we have been abducted in disguise,

Death, thus provide the room for you to hide

Where life won’t see you anywhere.

When death fixes high ransom

Against your existence, there is no way left

But to leave you body, for life will have surrendered

Its existence to the death.

We live for once and die for once,

That is the tragedy of life.

Like a fiction with a definite end,

That portrays a story of tragedy or comedy,

Our life is no different;

 And like the script writer in the play,

Your fate decides when to end and when not to.

Like the plot of the play, our roles are fixed

And when it is time to leave, fate beckons

From a distance with voice unheard

As if we are no more wanted in the film,

We disappear from the scene.

Never to reappear.

I shall; I shall wait!

When fate was not with me, there was no hope left. It felt as though I was just chasing a shadow that trickled my vision. The further one step I would take, the extra two steps forward it would go. My hopes and desires continued but my dreams would never come true. I followed tirelessly after the expectations that beckoned me form proximity. Perhaps, I was nearing the point where the destination of my quest. Perhaps, I had a long way to move on before I fainted with weariness. I gave up! I surrendered myself to reality. I woke up from my slumber to embrace the real world.

It was those wonderful times that had brought us closer. A year has passed now. Heavy at heart I recollect those times when we were more than just friends. I was mad for her love. My craze drove me crazier each day I saw her. It was a piece of good news for me to be in her vicinity. A privilege that I would consider being bestowed upon me by the God. Just a mere voice I would hear of her would make my heart beat rapidly. My day would be made with her voice being heard. I was madly in love with her.

Today, we are apart before even becoming nearer the way we wanted to be. We are far away both in distance and feelings. We are like the bank of a river flowing parallel to each with our own contents. Although at times, just disappearing in her thoughts and imagination makes me relaxed but with the hopeless heart, I move on. Indeed there is no other ways than this, too. With the convictions that one day I will be eligible for a happiness that I have ever been waiting for, I let go of my life.

Perhaps better is written on my forehead. Perhaps nothing is written! Whatsoever may be the consequences, I shall wait, not for her but for a better day. I shall wait for a day destiny will unfold its secrets.

A letter to the death

Dear Death,

I don’t know where you are hiding, but I am sure you aren’t away from my life. Life, they say, is a death in disguise; therefore in whatever form you are manifested I, I am never afraid of you. This is also to say that I have started loving you the way I love my life for I know, no matter how reluctant I may be, to hug you, you shall embrace me, somehow. I welcome the way you come. I accept the way you come, yet I have a special request to you.Please, don’t take me whilst I am happy with life. Take me not when I feel life worth living. Take me when I am down with emotions, when I am crumpled shapeless by life. Take me away when the world has enough of me. Take me when you see me living to exist but not when I exist to live. Take me when the world is against my will and ability.

Perhaps you won’t listen to me. Perhaps you will excuse me for sometime as I wish. I have no say. I won’t complain either, for when you lay your icy hand on me, I will have to accept your journey. Your journey, I know will be dark and difficult, but I don’t care! I shall walk with you when life has no need of me. I shall follow your footsteps until where you stop. Drag me or push me, I won’t care, for your kindness shall be my penalty.

Each moment, each passing second, I know you have been watching me and waiting for a right time to make me your slave .Disguising as different adversities, at times, I have felt you visit me and drag me through difficult path, but overcome by my fate you must have been defeated. You won’t give-up, I know. You must have been somewhere around me.

Yes Dear death,

Come, come, come as you wish,

Come, come, come as you please!

I have no fear nor have I any complaints.

I will love you as much as I do life,

For I have no alternatives.

When time comes;when fate betrays me,

I shall be yours.

When you survive in me, I shall die in you;

I shall walk with you until the end,

No matter how harsh you will be,

I will be yours, yours, one time.

I shall sleep with you on the bed you make for me.

I shall eat with you on the plate you give;

I shall be yours for once,

When life will have enough of me.

My Aspiration

“To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.” 
― Kahlil Gibran

.Many of us believe that Success in life depends upon the amount of time we spend shedding sweats, the amount of time we remain awake while the entire world is asleep and the number of times we rise when each time we stumble and fall down. Success, they say, is born to those who are tired but tirelessly struggle to rest only when they get what they want. However, successful people are not only those are industrious and workaholic.  Amid the billions of people existing in the world, they say, there are millions who want to write their own fate, yet mortals are not amongst those who can do this: Only the almighty can.

I come from a middle class family where the family unit has begun to split. It had multiplied in the beginning and now it is getting divided into different unit. As fate wished, gradually is subtracting. I belong to family where luck and fortune has abandoned .I live life where expectations are begging the alms of my aspirations. My aspiration, as an old adage goes, is like ‘swallowing a bone according to the size of my throat’. Unlike many who have greater ambition and aspiration I aspire for something my poor brain think is achievable. Not even in my dream can I look for something I feel big. In contrary Michelangelo Buonarroti says,’the greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” 

Mundane as my life is, I have a mundane  aspiration.Anatole France,in his introductory speech at session of the Academic Franaise in December 24, 1896 maintained, “to accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe”. I don’t know if it appears appealing to the rest of the world but this is something I aspire for. Day in day out I act on it with a belief that one day or the other I shall achieve my dream. Since the childhood to this day, I have been chasing the dream of getting a good and reliable job so that the entire hopes of my parents and the consistent efforts see justice. Mine is a society where everybody believes that getting into the government job is paying for the hard work and fulfilling the hopes of our parents. To get a job in public sector is to expect hearing people talk good of us. Fame, name and status are born out of government job. To achieve this dream is not a piece of cake. The competition is stiff. One has to get through the RCSCE(Royal Civil Service Commission Examination).To get through this I have to work extra hard.

Johann Wolfgang quoted “The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains.” Though the steps are tougher, yet I never have stopped moving. No matter if I have to travel on the paved road or on the stony path, at the end of the day, I will make sure I am on track to my fulfilling my aspiration. Mike Norton in White Mountain says, “the true measure of a man is not what he dreams, but what he aspires to be; a dream is nothing without action. Whether one fails or succeeds is irrelevant; all that matters is that there was motion in his life. That alone affects the world.” Therefore, my efforts are relentless and aspiration still burning like candle. They say, we get luckier as we work harder but what fate has in stored for me, I don’t know. I will work as though I could alone write my fate. Thus this is what I aspire for.

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