Random thoughts

Priyaey timro samjhana, (The memories of yours, dear, and)

Bhobesay kalpana, (the imagination of future)

Mutuma bokey ra, (Carrying them in my heart)

Pardesai jandaichhu(I am setting off to urban)

I   don’t know what is embedded deep in these lines, but they have the capacity to make me feel low. These lines take me to those days when life was all set. There was nothing to worry about or plan for. With the rising of sun and setting of the same, hearty meals prepared by mum would make everything good. Walking through the heaped border of the terrace dragging the reluctant goats to be tethered, it was never a big deal to fix them and if I didn’t know where to tether them, I would shout at mum and ask where I should fix them. “Ama kahan banu ho?” (Mum, where should I tether them). Or sometimes, if the herd of goats tried escaping on their own will, I would simply cry and leave them for mum to fix. There was no sense of responsibility in me. At times, I can vividly remember now, mum would scold me saying that I did not even break a stick for the day-meaning there was nothing useful that I did. Infact, there was not compulsion for me to do, either. If I didn’t do, my mum or brother would do. In short, those were carefree days.

Today as I play this song, like a bottled pickle that spreads its smell when opened its lid, memories are diffused. Over the air; over the room; over the heart and blood, I have memories screaming at me. My sentiments stirred and as I pen these feelings, I feel suffocated. How fast time passes by. Those lovely people of my life with whom I have learned to live are away from me. Those moments when my grandma was still quite young, perhaps at her late 60s, would be a fun. Our moments were lovely-indeed, something i don’t want to forget. My elder brother and I used to fight physically. My elder brother was just a difficult -to -please kid. Indeed, it was the time which was not so good but was normal. Today everything had faded-my normalcy and dormancy. Like a snake which has lost its venom, I slither with the little hopes in life. Ahead of me, beckons the reality of life. I see a bigger responsibility lying ahead. Perhaps, I am moving gradually. Perhaps I need to move consistently. Perhaps, I don’t know what is happening in life.