She was just fifteen when she got married with my 26
years old dad. A burden upon burden, she shifted herself from her home but not
the adversities of life. She was orphaned at a very early age and she doesn’t remember
how her parents looked like. After the death of her parents, she and rest of
her siblings were raised by her paternal uncle. Her elder brother and middle
brother were already into school. Poor her, she never even stepped the
threshold of any school. How could she? No one supported her. Her uncle wanted
her to remain home and help him.
A time came for as it comes to everyone in life. They
say, marriage is a union of two souls. They pledge each other to remain
together through the thick and thin of life. The Hindu culture compels a woman
to abide by the value of a pinch of vermilion on the slit of hair. An oath a
couple makes during the wedding has to be upheld until the time both souls
depart. Such purity and truth embed in the wedding of a conservative Hindu
couple. So it is for my mum.
Perhaps, fate had not stored in a life everyone
desires for-a happy life. Back then, my dad was a spoilt brat. Being the elder
and the dear one of my grandpa and grandma, he was a carefree man. Day in, day out,
gambling used to keep him busy. Late at night, sometimes at 2 A.M, he used to
return home. Every time, waiting for him to return home for dinner, it would
become midnight. Sitting by fire, swallowing the swear word of my grandma, my
mom would serve dinner to others and wait for my dad to return home. Beer and
other intoxicants always took him away from the thought of being with family. May
be he never understood the value of family-what it feels to eat with family. What
it feels to come home early. In those days, never did he understand how his
wife led life. Nor did any siblings of my mum know circumstances my mum was in.
I know how it feels to stay under the reign of a
mother in law- early morning waking, together with the cock cross, preparing morning
tea, feeding the cattle, plastering the floor with cow dung’s paste, chopping
firewood and many more household chores.
These activities never keep a mother in-law satisfied for there will always be
some space where she can scold. Starting from the control of salt to the
cattle, a mother in-law follows autocratic leadership. In one way or the other,
there will be an area where she can pour her anger and dissatisfaction on a
daughter in-law. My mother was subjected to such tyranny of mother in law and
the whistle blowers paternal aunts. From the salt, rice and oil to the cattle
and money, they would keep their eye on my mum.
No matter if
it rained or the sun shone, there was no word called rest. From an early
morning until late night, she used to work, suffer and get tired. Who cared if
she was tired? A daughter in-law couldn’t sleep before everything was over for
a night. She suffered with stomach ache, her painful period and everydays swear
words of her mother-in-law. More than that, she suffered from the loneliness
and the feeling of being alone. She must have had so many things that remained
like knots, to tell to her husband. She must have had complaint about being a
scapegoat in the family. She must have wanted to tell my dad that she was
tired. However, to whom she wanted to let it be known the most, would never be
home and even if he came home, came when she was deeply asleep and left home
before she could even see. As a daughter-in-law, the pain and the agony that
throb in the heart can be felt by none but herself. Bound by the norms, she can
never speak what she wants to. As a daughter-in-law, I know how pathetic life
seems but it goes unheeded.
Crumpled and then reshaped in to what she is now, is
never a story anyone can narrate or read. Inspite of all the loopholes in relationship;
Inspite of feeling alone and left out in life and inspite of travelling alone
in life, my mother never complained about it. She moved like she never did
before. She survived through the thick and thin of life. Perhaps, she never
dreamt her life to be this way. Today, my father is the best in the world. He
cares and earns for all of us in the family. Today, if I want to see anyone
with awe, then it is my father who has been standing by my brothers and mom
like a savior. Like a movie at the climax point, my life stands here. I don’t know
what god and the fate have stored in for us but I will always pray to god for
the better health and wellbeing of my parents. I want to prove that my parents
never made an error of giving birth to me. My mother doesn’t have to do
anything except work in the field. My dad buys all the food items needed at
home. He looks after if we have enough money in the college.
This is true love. My mom waited for this time to
come. She never gave up her hopes. Perhaps she never had such hopes in fate for
today we have one of the best and happy families. I learned that time heals all
the wounds in life; time is the remedy for hopes. True love always has the part
we would always want it to remain but time waits for none. It happens towards the
end. My dad has turned 64 now.
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