A letter to my parents

Dear mum and dad

At times, when I am alone, many kind of thoughts play in my mind. Some thoughts please me. Some thoughts upset me. While, there are thoughts that kill me within. I wonder as to why I am here—away, far away from you all, my mum and dad; far away from the land I have grown up. Beyond hills; beyond rivers and; beyond thickets, I remain like a colonized man. Invisible handcuffs and chain hold me tight so much so that even if I want to escape, my desire and dreams would not let me go. I am jailed in the prison of so called fate. Although, technology has eased the connectivity, I still feel like we have been separated by thousand miles. Each time I remember you all, copious tears drop off my eyes silently. In principle I don’t have desire to be away from you. My sentiments hurt each time I have to spend time away from you. I know, no one has caught me and tied me, yet my desire and your dreams of me keep me confined here. Hoping for the better day—the day you may feel you have accomplished as parents, I remain bearing the pain of separation. I can’t accept the fact that we have to separate one day or the other; nay, I can’t live a life where people like you are absent. Be it happy or sad, I wish we could spend our time together. Yet for a better tomorrow, I am enduring bitter today. Don’t ask me if I don’t miss you; I do! However as I already said, I am learning to be a better son.
I know why you had to bear the pain of my departing from you. I had to do it as well. In the chilly morning of winter or rainy hot morning of summer, when we all had to wake up early for my departure,I have undergone the toughest experience. I would feel suffocated yet what would I do? All I could do to hide tears in my eyes was to assure you all that I am coming back soon. You and i—all of us await a moment when we would have some cashes to buy stuffs that as a farmer we couldn’t do easily. The entire life you have spent on children like us. Sometimes into the rain, you have worked to earn something; sometimes into the scorching heat of sun, you have sweated to complete a task for money. How can I forget how hard you have been toiling in the worst of weather so that one day when your sons get into job, you can sit on a comfortable chair. Every day of your life, I know, you have been waiting for day when you can see your son become a successful man so that you can go to the neighborhood and boast.
I am sorry, dear dad and mum, that we may not have lives we all have been dreaming of. Not all the pleasing dreams and plans may turn out to be as good. We might not have enough money for paddy cultivation and harvest. Although I have been reminding myself that no matter what, I will make you proud; no matter what, you lead comfortable life. However, I am a little apprehended about what might happen to me after I am married—you daughter in law might not allow me to pursue my dreams of helping you. Looking at what many sons and daughters have been undergoing, each day I grow up into an eligible bachelor, I have this fear over coming me. I am scared of how your daughter in law would look like. I wish she doesn’t catch my hand and stop me from helping you. I know these are some useless stuff to write, yet I am being practical. Your son turns out to be old each passing day yet I haven’t started earning a single pie.
I have been away from you all for sometime. The place where life saw how the world looked like gradually becomes like a dream dearer. Blur images of the place my childhood trod appears like a fluttering of a flag. Like fading food steps of departing souls, the memories that once were close to my heart, fade. I am afraid of the impermanence of the mind. What if I develop interest in other places! I know, if I do, I will not be able to forgive myself. I am a little afraid of this useless thing and I want you to know this.
Dear mum and dad, i want to say thank you for all the help and kindness you gave me. I am sorry for all hurdles you have to undergo for me. Each passing day I am learning to be a good son. Each passing day I am sewing pieces of dreams .I am weaving great thoughts for days to come. In wait of a fine day, I am dreaming like you do. Perhaps, we will have a better life together.
Thank you.